Now that I've been in treatment for several months, and have learned to practice more effective self-awareness, I can see the things that I commonly do to isolate myself. I've learned to understand that these behaviors are a part of what my eating disorder encourages me to do.
That little voice inside my head (the voice of my disorder - I call her Edie) knows when I'm feeling vulnerable and will seize that opportunity to try to get me to pull away from the people that I love. Edie knows that this behavior will make me feel worse and will deepen her relationship with me. She needs me to focus on her, and to hear her voice more often and with more volume than anyone else. If I turn down her volume, she is at risk of being eliminated. She needs me to believe the lies that she tells me so that I stay sick, and she can't convince me of her lies if I can't hear her telling them to me.
If you or your loved one are struggling with an eating disorder, you might feel relieved to know that isolation is a common behavior. You are not alone in that.
In this video, filmed together with my husband, we talk about my isolation behaviors and how they affect our relationship. We also share some of the strategies that we use to challenge this behavior on my journey to shut Edie up for good.
It will be wonderful if this video can help you in some small way.